Hello February

...where on Earth did January go??

I'm not sure that I'm ready for my year to go flying by so fast. That being said, I'm excited for what's still to come!

My year has gotten off to a fantastic start. I didn't make resolutions this year, but after this post by Christine Kane, I found myself a word. (: My word for the year was Cleanse. It has so many meanings for me, from clearing out old health issues to getting junk out of my room to clarifying where I want my life to go, that without a doubt--this is my word.

While I keep forgetting about it don't always succeed at keeping it in mind, I've found my life echoing it anyway. I've managed to go to Zumba at least one-three times a week --and I'm definitely noticing when I don't go-- sell my desk (which has made my room look like we're moving again), condense all of my Google accounts onto one, and keep my grades up. I've also gotten hooked on Grey's Anatomy, finished the last two seasons of West Wing...again, and catch up on Downton Abbey. (Honestly, my life doesn't revolve around TV, but these were impressive milestones.)

One of my favorite things this year has been staying in closer contact with my grandparents. I've been emailing back and forth with both sets, as well as calling them fairly regularly. I'm consulting with them for the product for my senior project and it's so exciting. I'm a major history nerd and I "have" to hear these stories. I'm ecstatic.

An aspect of my "Cleansing" for the year has been dealing with some of the unhelpful notions I have floating around in my head. For example, I used to see my heart beat under my shirt, like my shirt would move, and it would really freak me out. I mean...I would have thoughts like "my heart's too strong" and ridiculous stuff like that. Now, I see it and think "oh hey there, buddy. nice to see you're doing your job." Heck yeah, my heart rocks.
Another has been dealing with my own insecurity. During Zumba, it's so hard not to doubt yourself or compare yourself to other people, so I've had to tackle this one (or be miserable during every class...which simply wasn't an option). I've found that if I just watch Ashley teach the steps and sort of...just turn off my brain, or turn it down, I do so much better. It's like I just relax and have fun with it. I'm starting to really learn the steps, so now I have the ability to focus more on how I'm doing. It's been so liberating to feel fully in control of my body now.

January, you were fantastic. February...you're getting off to a rough start, but that's okay; there's time left to beat January redeem yourself.

I need to stop doing these catch-up posts. Someday, I'll figure out how to blog life as I go along. Also, someday, I'll have a camera. I miss pictures.

-b