Saturday, December 31, 2011

Welcoming 2012

It's been so long since I've posted. Yikes. For months now, part of me has been going "post, post, post!" (in a chant, just like that), but, fantastic procrastinator that I am, that's all that's been happening. Suddenly, we're heading full-speed, jumping in feet first, right into 2012 and I keep having these feelings like "ack! I'm not ready!!".

There is no doubt in my mind that 2012 is going to be a big year. I graduate high school, start college, leave my family, turn 18, and hopefully continue to grow and change as a person. I'm excited, I really am, but as I grow more and more, I realize that change can be really hard for me. I'm definitely a creature of habit, and I like my routines, but something about the thought of things changing just...jumbles me up inside, if that makes sense.

Lately, the "starting college" part has been freaking me out. A lot. All during break, I rushed to get applications in (I'm still not done) because I don't feel like I'm ready. I've been accepted to my dream school, but it's a private school and I'm really having a hard time with that aspect of it. My family isn't monetarily rich and as much as I want and would love to go to my first choice, I'm not sure that I'm ready to start my adult life in debt. That being said, I'm also struggling to commit to UNC or UNC-A, which are my fallbacks. UNC is scaring me off because of its size and UNC-A just doesn't feel right.

I know, that no matter what, as long as I listen to my instincts and follow my gut, that everything will work out exactly as it needs to. I'm in the running for a full-tuition scholarship, after already having received a generous scholarship, from my dream school; I should find out in this month! Keep your fingers crossed for me, please. (: I'm hoping FAFSA will help some and like I said...I know it will work out.

I haven't sat down and done my list of resolutions yet, but that's next on the hit parade (just kidding, it's probably not likely to happen). One of them will be getting this blog back up and going though. I have these great days, or inspirational days, and just...need to type, need to share; when I bottle all of that stuff up, words just like...start jumping out of my head--not kidding. (: When I start college, this will probably turn into a way to chronicle my adventures and keep my family and friends updated. ...I can't wait.

Next This coming weekend (!), Mom, Maylen and I are headed to a camp sesh with some old homeschool friends and I'm so excited. I'm out that Monday, so even in spite of homework, I'm ditching and going with, for the first time in agesss. It's in a cabin, with heat and electricity, which is definitely my idea of hardcore camping. ;) I've suddenly had a bunch of opportunities pop up for the weekend--going to a debate tournament with my best friend, a campaign 101 seminar, a trip to see a local barn, etc.)--but I've stayed firm. It's like the universe is throwing all of these possibilities at me to help me see just how much I need this weekend. It's a chance to get away, de-stress, hang out with a bunch of friends...and then get all the homework that I didn't get done over the weekend finished up on Monday. I went to the library today to return a book...and walked out with about five. I feel like I'm packing for the beach.

So excited, so ready.