Thursday, April 19, 2012

Big Changes

Ooof. I can't believe I haven't blogged in over two months. Lately, I've felt like I've had words fixin' to crawl right out of my fingers, so tonight--I decided to do something about it.

Last week, some big things happened in my life.
1) I turned 18! It's a weird feeling, knowing that I've hit that point; the point where I've more or less reached the "grown up" stage. Legally, I'm on my own now. It's sort of a scary thought. I'm definitely feeling the "with great power comes great responsibility"saying.

Boots&Ditto Time!
2) After four years, many mutual "meetings", (thanks to Michael, Andy, Alex and Jason!), hours of Skype, miles typed across our keyboards...Brit/Ditto and I finally met! She was in town for a wedding and I drove over for an early lunch. It. Was. Wonderful. It was like we'd been best friends for years--what a coincidence--and I'm sad our visit wasn't longer! But still--I'll take what I can get. (:

3) I chose a college! The people around me know that making this decision has taken me hours, months, long agonizing cries to my mom and some really deep soul-searching. Until December or so, I was set on one school--a small, liberal arts college in the beautiful mountains of Virginia. Then...I didn't get the full scholarship I'd been so desperately hoping for, I began to fall out of love, I opened my eyes to the flaws that I'd so valiantly tried to ignore...and began the college search all over again. All along the way, I'd kept telling myself: "things will turn out just like they need to". That saying became my touchstone. Every time I got nervous or unsure about my future, I would tell myself that and remember to have faith.

I'd applied to several other school besides my Virginia school, just in case--a move that is so typically me...and boy, am I ever glad I did. I think my total application list was 10 schools. There were 4 or so that I'd applied to simply because they were free applications and I like to have many, many backups; two that I could have forced myself to go to...and then four schools that I truly believe I could have been happy at: Randolph, Emory and William & Mary. For a while, UNC floated around those different groups as I did research, fell in love, did more research, fell out of love, visited...and got knocked-on-my-butt-are-there-stars-in-your-eyes in love. But something inside me kept me from committing. I could come up with loads of reasons not to: it's too big, I might not make it in the business school, etc, etc. And then...things turned out just like they needed to.

I applied to all of my schools early decision, except for Emory, Davidson, American and W&M. Most of those were serious contenders and I waited on pins and needles for the decisions. And in about one week, I got them ALL. Waitlisted. At all four schools.

At first, I was totally shocked. And then it started to be funny. I'd start to open the small envelope and take bets on whether I would be denied or just waitlisted. Nope, waitlisted. By every one. I tried to console myself, reassure myself that it wasn't so bad--loads of people just apply for safety, right? But the waitlisting made me really evaluate my options. Did I really want to go there? W&M was tossed out, as was American and Davidson, but I chose to stay on Emory's waitlist. Emory had been my other top choice, after UNC--what was I supposed to do now?

So, over spring break, we went back to visit family down South and planned a trip to Emory while we were there. I'd already told Emory that I wanted to stay on their waitlist until the day that I had to commit to Carolina. I kept telling myself "I can wait for it". Just to be sure I had all the information though, I went to visit. The night before we left to drive down, I lay in bed and prayed. I told God that I didn't want this to be a coin toss, that I needed to know exactly what the right decision was. I asked to either never want to leave...or to hate it.

God must have been listening, because boy...I hated it--or just really, really disliked it. I went home and two days later, sent in my deposit to Carolina and I couldn't be happier. Everything's falling into place...and happening exactly like it needs to.

I'm proud to be a:

Really awesome sign found here on Etsy