We've been watching this movie (Alice In Wonderland) in Family (one of the things that makes my high school so fabulous. Family is when each teacher has a group of students and we meet twice a week and talk/watch movies/go bowling/create our own little family within our school) and the scene came up and just absolutely struck a chord with me. Muchness. What a perfect word. I later realized why the scene had caught my attention: I was unconsciously wondering about my muchness.
There's a quote regarding eating disorders that says "food is not the enemy; your mind is" and the way I see it now, my muchness influences my mind. So what can we do to control our muchness? What is our muchness even made up of?
I decided that my muchness grows stronger when I do things I enjoy. So I've been reading more than I have in months (and making time to read/forcing myself to prioritize is half the battle) and I've started this new routine where my sleeping music has become the This American Life podcasts. Listening to TAL as I'm going to sleep means that I'm ending the day laughing. Who doesn't love that? I'm a VERY visual person and listening to audiobooks is near impossible for me. I have to watch movies with subtitles, otherwise my attention wanders and I forget what the heck the characters are talking about, but during those few minutes (depending on how tired I am, it can be VERY few ;-) ), it can be almost magical to focus on one thing and completely absorb yourself in it. Listening to and visualizing the stories and incidences is boosting my creative energy up 1000%. And this has caused something else to support my muchness: writing.
I've been so blocked for the past couple of months. I have the plots and all the things I want to write, but my Inspiration is missing. It's like I either can't make myself just sit down and write or I force the words out and my story sounds just that: forced. Neither of these make for very good reading, unfortunately. But currently, since I've stopped horseback riding, it's been one of my only major creative outlets.
I view creative energy as something to be channeled. When I have unchanneled creative ideas, I get hyper and unfocused and I've been known to just be completely absentminded because I'm writing out entire chapters in my mind or daydreaming about riding. It's like putting bread into a tube and leaving it out to rise: there are only so many places it can go before it starts leaking out. And I think my muchness is my creative energy. Writing, reading, riding, knitting, working out, etc. are all things that make me feel good and that give me confidence and your muchness depends on that.
Just give it a try. Find something you absolutely LOVE to do and maybe haven't done in a while or haven't really thrown yourself into and pick it back up, even for a day. If knitting is your thing, start on a hat or a scarf; it's the perfect season for that! Or if you're one of those people that are so busy you can't even find time to sleep, I like having dance parties. (: I generally have a song running through my head and after I get out of the shower, I will just stay in the bathroom and dance. Do you know how much fun that is? (It also dries your hair really quickly.) By the end I'm laughing and am so full of energy!
Pick something and give it a try. You don't know what you're missing unless you try and find it. ;-)
~B
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